SAVE THE DATE! Girls Rule To Launch Bringin' Books Back Book Store Featuring American Girl Publications!

Would you like to empower and aid in the self development of young ladies residing in urban communities while gaining access to an inspiring and educational collection of award winning books and products designed especially for women and girls?

Please join us at http://www.girlz-rule.org/ for the November 1, 2009 online launch of the Girls Rule! Bringin Books Back Book Store which will feature a full line of American Girls Publications!

Fifty percent (50%) of your Bringin Books Back Book Store American Girl Publication purchase will enrich the lives of young ladies by supporting Girls Rule! programs and services!

For more information visit http://www.girlz-rule.org/

Register to receive a special gift and invitation to our grand opening!

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Girls Rule! Parent ToolKit: Cruel Intentions - Taking the Bully by the Horns

Ugly Stupid Fat Flat-Chested Buck-toothed Smelly Poor 4Eyes Dumb Big-Lips

Nothing stymies the healthy development of a young girl quite like bullying. Not only does bullying cause significant emotional and physical harm to young ladies, it also negatively impacts their esteem, confidence and academic success.

What is bullying?
Simply put, bullying happens when a young lady’s peers intentionally and consistently hurt her emotionally, physically or verbally. Often times, bullying is mistaken for teasing. It is important to recognize the difference. Bullying is NOT teasing. Teasing can happen amongst friends, for instance with whom your child is on an equal plain. Bullying is frightening, humiliating, stressful and intimidating. Today, girl bullies are as commonplace in schools as boy bullies, however they utilize different methods. While some will spread gossip about other girls, or say unkind things to girls about their weight or overall appearance, other school girl bullies will tend to bully as a group, which gives the lead bully more control. Group bullying typically escalates into after school physical intimidation or fighting.

Following are a few helpful stats about bullying from the National Resource Center for Safe Schools:

• 160,000 students miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by a bully; 7 percent of eighth-graders stay home at least once a month because of bullies


• Approximately 20 percent of students are scared throughout much of the school day


• 14 percent of 8th- through 12th-graders and 22 percent of fourth- through eighth-graders surveyed reported that “bullying diminished their ability to learn in school”


• 10 percent of students who drop out of school do so because of repeated bullying


• 30 percent of students who have been bullied do not tell anyone
  

Other interesting facts about bullying

• Bullying by girls is often more subtle and harder to detect than bullying by boys and includes social exclusion


• Girls are more likely to bully in a group

Prevention: Combat Bullying 101

Be Proactive
A significant number of girls who experience bullying suffer in silence due to feelings of shame, embarrassment or fear. When asked how their day was, they will respond with a customary, “Fine.” Try sharing a personal story about an experience you had with a bully when you were a child. This provides a wonderful opportunity to keep the door of communication open while also helping your child to understand that they are not alone. Don’t forget to share how your bullying situation made you feel and what strategies you used to overcome it, if any. Follow up by asking your child if she has ever been in a similar situation and listen. Another great strategy is to ask the question, “What made you upset, angry or sad today?” This unexpected question may yield a very candid answer. Be prepared to offer an understanding ear.

Take Your Child Seriously
When a girl opens up about having been bullied, the two biggest mistakes parents make are not taking their child’s complaints seriously and telling them to “toughen up,” and allowing the bullying to continue. While it is important to counsel children to develop strength for their journey, bullying behavior should never be tolerated. The two most important things you can do when they confide in you is to reassure your them that you understand their feelings and that you will do everything you can to keep them safe.

Gather the Facts
It is important to understand the circumstances around which your daughter is being bullied so that you may help her to create a plan to stop it. This information will also come in handy as you work together with the school, after-school or other program administrator to address it. You should ask:

• “What happened?”


• “Who did this?”


• “Where were you?”


• “Who was there?” “Were you alone?”


• “Has it happened before?” “How often?”


• “How does it start?”


• “What did you do?”


• “Do you think he’ll do it again?”


• “Did anyone help you?”


• “Did an adult see this?”

Make an Action Plan
Trends show that bullying starts in elementary school, peaks in middle school and begins to decrease in the 11th and 12th grades. Many girls many not be able to or feel comfortable handling bullying on their own: they need your help. Depending on her age and the bullying situation, here are a few tips to consider:

• Because bullying usually happens in unsupervised areas, suggest that your daughter stay near others at lunch, recess, in hallways, near lockers, parks, or while in other areas.


• Bully’s typically hone in on those who are by themselves so help your daughter to identify at least one supportive companion.


• When being bullied, emphasize that sometimes the best thing to do is leave the scene or walk towards an adult, crowd or older kids.


• Identify a trustworthy and discreet adult who can help your child when you’re not around. They must take this seriously, protect your child, and, if necessary, keep this role as protector confidential.
  

Teach Confident Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
Research finds that young ladies who learn how to be assertive and appear more confident are less likely to be targeted by bullies. Teach or enroll your daughter in a class that provides self confidence and presentation skill coaching so that they appear less afraid. Try showing your daughter how to use a stone-faced glare that looks straight through the bully. If she needs to respond to a bully verbally, demonstrate how to use a strong, firm voice to deliver short, direct messages such as: “No.” “Nope.” “Cut it out.” “Leave me alone.” “No way.” Remind her that crying, whining, insulting, or threatening only makes things worse. Bullies love knowing they can push one’s buttons. Create bullying situations that your daughter could potentially find herself in ( like in the restroom, lunchroom or on the playground) and act them out. Provide her with an opportunity to confidently walk away, speak, etc. so that she will feel self-assured if she is approached by the bully in the future.

Boost Self-confidence
•Being bullied dramatically affects your child’s self-esteem, so find activities, such as a hobby, sport , modeling, social grace or talent classes that your child enjoys and can excel at, to boost her confidence.

While you cannot fight all of your daughter’s battles, don’t hesitate to step in when needed. If there’s ever the possibility your child could be injured be sure to expand your action plan to include teachers, school or program administrators and other parents.

COMING NEXT WEEK:

Parent Toolkit: Cruel Intentions Part 2 - What To Do When Your Daughter Bullies Others.

COMING SOON:

7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

Things That Make You Go, Hmmm: The Great School Speech Debate of 2009

Well, it’s pretty straightforward stuff: On Sept. 8, President Barack Obama is scheduled to deliver a major speech to American school children. According to Arne Duncan, the secretary of education, the President will discuss, among other topics, the importance of working hard, and setting educational goals.

Of course, Obama is not the first President to speak directly to school children. In terms of our country's recent history, in October 2001, George W. Bush urged kids to donate a dollar to America’s Fund for Afghan Children. And in 1991, George H.W. Bush was criticized by Democrats for conducting a teleconference with students on the topic of math and science.

The backlash around this planned speech has come swiftly with a flurry of political accusations ranging from socialist tactics and using school aged children as lobbyists. It has also developed into a prickly issue for educators of our children.

This week local and suburban schools began using mass calling systems to inform parents of their intention to view the President's speech, distribute hard copies to students and/or to use this speech as a teaching opportunity. Due to the political sensitivity of this speech and to acknowledge parental desires and views, some are also sending parental consent forms home so that students may "opt out" of the activities.

In Chicago, at least; I find it interesting that our officials have endorsed using the "Birthday Sex" crooner as the face of it's back to school initiative without checks and balances from the community, but tip toes around whether to allow students to listen to a back to school speech from the President that encourages students to focus on their educational goals. Is it just me?

Submitted by: A Proactive Parent

CBS Evening News seeking support for local story about CPS school violence

Good Morning Friends

Charlie Brooks, producer of the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric is seeking to interview a family who has a child in CPS who may be identified as one of the 1200 who could potentially be shot. CPS has allocated about $30 million dollars to this program to protect and prevent additional shootings of our CPS students this year. The program was announced yesterday.

CBS would like to follow a student to from home to school who fits this program and ask them and the parents how they feel about the program.
If you know of someone, who might be interested in being filmed for this story ( which will be shot and aired on Tuesday September 8th please have them contact Charlie Brooks at his office phone number 312 899 2121. Thank you.

Texting While Driving PSA

The following PSA may not be suitable for minors. Please view and discern whether it is appropriate to share and discuss with licensed or soon to be licensed youth in your home.

"Birthday Sex" Back to School Campaign

Girls Rule, Chicago
www.girlz-rule.org

About a month ago, Ron Huberman and Richard Daley announced that they selected Morgan Park High School alum, Jeremih Felton, singer of the popular song, "Birthday Sex" to be the face of their back to school campaign.

Many of the parents I spoke with were outraged and very concerned about the message this decision would send to students. Community organizations threatened "consequences" if this decision was not reversed. Those consequences would include encouraging students "not" to attend the first day of school to send a message that decisions like these, that negatively impact the community at large would not be tolerated.

What are your thoughts?

• Was the decision to align the back to school campaign with this "celebrity" damaging?
• What message do you think it sends to youth?
• Is this type of protest the right path to take?
• Has the campaign been successful?

Here's the background information and a video. Let us know your thoughts...
_______________________________________________________________

Community leaders gathered at Chicago Public Schools headquarters today to denounce the choice to head up a back-to-school campaign: A singer with the hit song "Birthday Sex."

"This is not the appropriate forum for the boosting of him and the endorsing of him because when Chicago Public Schools administrators. . .are seen as endorsing this type of behavior amongst the children, we have a problem," said William Dock Walls of the Committee for a Better Chicago and a candidate for governor. "We're starting down that slippery slope to increased STDs, increased HIV, increased pregnancies and abortions."



The small group's comments came two days after CPS chief Ron Huberman and Mayor Richard Daley announced the selection of Jeremih Felton, a Morgan Park High School alum, to be the face of the campaign.

Though Jeremih's song is popular on airwaves and some students may have been aware of it prior to the campaign, the fact that CPS "then adopts him," Walls said, "augment[s]" his exposure to others. If CPS doesn't reverse the decision, there will be "consequences," he said.

"Some of the consequences: that we will have protests. . .at CPS and that we will discourage attendance on the first day of school to send a real strong protest message that this will not be tolerated in our community," Walls said.

When pressed about discouraging school attendance over a song, Walls said, it's "over a concept."

"If children go to school with birthday sex on their mind, they can't learn anything," he said. "Can you imagine a 6-year-old saying to another 6-year-old, 'It's my birthday, come and have birthday sex with me? And it's OK because the teachers told us and the principals told us and the administrators told us to listen to Jeremih. He's our role model.'"

On Tuesday, Daley brushed away questions about the appropriateness of the song, saying the artist has a right to "free speech."

"He's a young man, [with a] back-to-school message, a young man who has had great success recording, producer, going to school, went to public school," Daley said. "Graduated from Morgan Park, and like anything else, he's willing to help other youngsters in our public school system."

But Gilda Walker, a member of both the Committe for a Better Chicago and Concerned Women, said the message promotes teen sex.

"I don't think that should be the message sent to our children going back to school," she said. "If CPS is so concerned about music, why don't they put the arts back into the school so the children can learn the different genres of music and be able to appreciate why and how music is constructed?" she said.

Delilah Johnson, 22, a junior at DePaul University and 2005 alum of Percy L. Julian High School, said the selection of a celebrity for the back to school campaign did impact her and others.

"It set the tone for the year. It set the tone for what the teachers expected of you," she said. "And if the teachers don't expect anything better than what Jeremih is singing about in these lyrics, that's an insult to us."

-- Lauren R. Harrison

www.girlz-rule.org
Girls Rule

"It is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men."
- Frederick Douglass

Girls Rule! Parent ToolKit: Talking to Youth About SEXting.

Girls Rule! Parent ToolKit: Talking to Youth About “Sexting.”
By Ladon Thames Brumfield, Executive Director
http://www.girlz-rule.org/

UPDATE: AmplifyYourVoice.org, a global organization dedicated to empowering and educating youth to facilitate change within their communities presented this article to peer youth educators globally, to utilize as a tool when educating youth and their families about SEXting.

Multi media technology is wonderful. It helps us to stay connected to family and friends and helps us to communicate from just about any part of the world with flexibility and ease. It has also, however given birth to yet another area for parents to vigilantly safeguard their children against: “Sexting.”

What is “Sexting?” I’m glad you asked. “Sexting” refers to the sharing of sexually oriented material via cell phone such as distribution of nude pictures, sexually suggestive typed responses to text messages and everything in between.

Recently, I received an email from the father of a very bright and outgoing 7th grade young lady who discovered that his daughter had recently received suggestive messages from a boy she liked at school. Fighting back his initial impulse, which was to “blow up” and kick start his own Law and Order :SVU, Elliot Stabler style high pressure suspect interview session, he asked me the best way help his daughter deal with this type of peer pressure to better equip her to make good decisions regarding the perils of one-click technology.

This father is not alone. The reality is that “sexting” amongst youth is a quickly rising trend. A 2008 survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy found that 39 percent of teens have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages and 48 percent say they have received such messages. If your child has not encountered such materials now, it is likely that they will in the future.

Parents, What Can You Do?
Answer: EDUCATE

Talk About It: Talk with your child about “sexting” in a relaxed setting. Ask them what they know about it (they may not have heard the term, so "naked photo-sharing" works too), or what they think about it. Reference recent Miley Cirus, Vanessa Hudges or Rihanna photo sharing faux pas. While teens may view ''sexting'' as an innocent practice, the results can have lasting negative effects. Reputations, social lives, and future careers can be ruined as a result of nude pictures going public. Try walking them through the consequences of such images or text messages being shared with school peers and others by focusing on how they would feel if the content were shared, how others would view them and their character, what might be said behind their backs, etc. Also, encourage them not to share messages forwarded to them about others. Express how you feel in a conversational, supportive, non-confrontational way. A two-way dialog can go a long way toward building healthy communication between you and your child and helping them to understand how to minimize legal, social and reputation risks.

Many Causes: Recognize that there are many causes for “sexting.” In some cases, kids are responding to peer pressure or pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Help them to think through what may happen to the content in the event of a break up. “Sexting” is also sometimes simply impulsive behavior, flirting, or even revenge. Help your child to understand that whether a message is about them or someone else, it's always a bad idea.

It's Illegal: Encourage them not to take or send nude or sexually suggestive photos of themselves or anyone else. Help them to understand that if they do, even if the pictures are of themselves or if they pass along someone else's - they could be charged with producing or distributing child pornography. If they keep them on their phone or computer they could be charged with possession. If the photos or messages go to someone in another state (and that happens really easily), it's a federal felony.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of discussing the emotional (and reputation) damage that can come from having intimate photos (or messages) of your child go to a friend who can become an ex-friend and sent it to everyone your child knows. Not only can they be sent around; they can be distributed and archived online for people – including sexual deviants, to search for pretty much forever.

I hope these tips will help you to kick start a wonderfully productive, engaging and educational discussion with the special young person in your life.

Was this article helpful? Post a comment to let us know!

What We Are Dying To Know!

Recognizing the growing rate of HIV infection occurring amongst 13-24 year olds and the need to educate, inform and equip young persons to make healthy decisions, three years ago Girls Rule! began to provide annual HIV awareness and prevention workshops to youth at our Chicago south-side location.

Our youth sessions were really engaging, fun and the young ladies and gentlemen (ages 7 - 18) had A LOT to say in their age appropriate sessions! One of the things we discussed were the mixed messages that they previously received about body image, sex and HIV - or worse, they received no message at all.

Have you had conversations with the youth in your life about HIV? Do you feel comfortable discussing it? Do you think that parent workshops about talking to youth about HIV would be helpful? What do you think?

Girls Rule! News: 23 African American Young Ladies Enhance their Lives and Share An Elegant Dining Experience

Girls Rule! Equips Young Ladies with Tools for Success!
Etiquette Imperative Program enriches the lives of twenty-three young ladies! By Ladon Brumfield

On January 31, 2009 twenty-three young ladies, including three scholarship participants from Powell Elementary School (Chicago Public Schools) located in the South Shore community began participation in the Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Program winter session which was hosted by Martin Temple AME Zion Church.

Over a five week period of time, each young lady received etiquette coaching in the areas of visual poise, personal grooming and style, communication and social etiquette and table manners through fun interactive exercises in order that the newly learned information may become a replicable life skill.

Take a sneak peek at the classes!

Having successfully completed The Etiquette Imperative Program, all graduates shared an elegant dining experience at American Girl Place in Chicago's Water Tower.

Event Info
Visit our photo album
Email info@girlz-rule.org to learn about future sessions or to bring this program to your school.


What young ladies have to say about the program:

I loved the class today. I feel very special and learned how to walk with my head held high!

I liked talking with the girls in my group about the type of women we want to become when we are adults. That was fun.

I liked the skit about appropriate outfits and inappropriate outfits.

No one ever taught me how to walk like that before or

even explained what my walk says about me. Cool!

The Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Workshop - For Parents By Ladon Brumfield

The Etiquette Imperative Workshop
FOR PARENTS

Girls Rule! recognizes that home is a place of learning and that parents have a vital role in helping their children to master social graces and etiquette skills.

On Saturday, March 7, 2009, Girls Rule! will provide a free workshop to parents of past and present Etiquette Imperative students that will teach them etiquette and social grace training reinforcement strategies and methods to employ at home with their daughters.

Research shows that parental reinforcement of newly learned information is crucial in fostering a life-long love of learning in their children. The Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Workshop will give parents useful and effective tools, strategies and activities which will strengthen learning for the whole family.

Classes will be conducted on Saturday, March 7, 2009 at 12:30pm in classroom #1 at :
Martin Temple AME Zion Church,

6930 South Cottage Grove Avenue, Chicago, IL.

Registration fee: Free

This class is now full.

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