Eti-KID and Parent Tip of the Week - Dining Etiquette Tips

Dear Etiquette Imperative,

Is it still improper to have your elbows on the table when you are eating? We have two children; a 9 year old daughter & a son who is 10, who seem to think I'm crazy. Any other table manner advice you can give me would be well appreciated. We are trying to raise our children to have good table manners, but we are certainly no experts.

Signed,

Allison and Scott

Dear Allison and Scott,

Great question! You may be surprised to know that both you and the children are correct!

For informal dining situations, it's okay to rest an elbow on the table if you're not actually eating. But, if you're eating, then only rest the forearm or wrist on the edge of the table. One doesn't want to be hunched over their food. At formal functions, no elbows on the dining table.

Please consider telling your children that table manners are more than about proper eating; it's about being kind and considerate of others. Although you know that they are smart and nice, other people will judge them on how they present themselves. In the long run, etiquette and social grace mastery is another wonderful tool, that will help them to attain their dreams and ambitions!

Whether in a restaurant or in a home, here are some basic table manners to teach kids stated in ways that will help them to laugh AND learn:

1. Eat with a fork unless the food is meant to be eaten with fingers. Only babies eat with fingers.

2. Sit up and do not hunch over your plate; wrists or forearms can rest on the table, or hands on lap.

3. Don't stuff your mouth full of food, it looks kinda gross, and you could choke.

4. Chew with your mouth closed. This includes no talking with your mouth full.

5. Don't make any rude comments about any food being served. It will hurt someone's feelings.

6. Always say thank you when served something. Shows appreciation.

7. If the meal is not buffet style, then wait until everyone is served before eating. It shows consideration.

8. Eat slowly and don't gobble up the food. Someone took a long time to prepare the food, enjoy it slowly. Slowly means to wait about 5 seconds after swallowing before getting another forkful.

9. When eating rolls, tear off a piece of bread before buttering. Eating a whole piece of bread looks um...tacky.

10. Don't reach over someone's plate for something. Politely ask that the item to be passed to you. Shows consideration.

11. Do not pick anything out of your teeth, it's gross. If it bothers you that bad, excuse yourself and go to the restroom to pick.

12. Always use a napkin to dab your mouth, which should be on your lap when not in use. Remember, dab your mouth only. Do not wipe your face or blow your nose with a napkin, both are gross. Excuse yourself from the table and go the restroom to do those things.

13. When eating at someone's home or a guest of someone at a restaurant, always thank the host and tell them how much you enjoyed it. At least say that you liked the dinner or mention a specific item that was particularly tasty, i.e. the dessert was great. Again, someone took time, energy, and expense to prepare the food, so show your appreciation.

Thank you for your question!

Bon appetite!

Ladon Brumfield
Girls Rule!
The Etiquette Imperative
www.girlz-rule.org

Have an etiquette question? Email us at info@girlz-rule.org

Let's Get Moving! A Script for You to Use as You Practice Yoga with Your Child

Learn about some of the benefits of yoga as you and your child explore the following fun and simple yoga poses together: Here is what you might say to your child as you both practice yoga together!

■Breathing (Pranayama):
Every yoga class begins with a few quiet minutes to prepare the body and mind for the practice. Breathing helps our minds and bodies relax. Attention to the breath, while tuning out other sights and sounds, improves focus and concentration.

Tell your child: "Let's sit in a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Slowly, breathe in through your nose (pause), and out through your nose (pause). Breathe in through your nose (pause), and out through your nose (pause). Feel your body and mind getting ready for yoga. Slowly open your eyes."

■Downward Facing Dog Pose (Adho Mukha Svanasana):
This pose helps build strong muscles, flexibility of the joints and spine, and confidence in our body's ability to move in unique ways!

Tell your child: "Let's do the dog pose together." (Begin in an all-fours Position, (hands under shoulders, knees under hips. Curl your toes under, straighten your legs and then your arms. Hold this upside down V position for three breaths. Carefully return to all fours). Ask your child, "How does your body feel?"

■Child's Pose:
Poses such as this one massage our internal organs such as our brains, hearts, lungs, and stomachs, bringing fresh oxygen so they can work to their fullest capacity.

Tell your child: "Let's do the child's pose together." (Sit on your heels, lower your forehead to the ground and extend your arms way out in front of you.) Ask your child, "Did you feel your knees pushing on your belly? This pose helps your belly digest food better!"

■Vinyasas:
These are sequences of yoga poses, done without stopping. Vinyasas make our hearts beat faster which strengthens the heart muscle and gives us energy. Yoga pose sequences also help us practice motor planning skills or the skills needed to move different body parts so we can change positions.

Tell your child: "Let's put our downward facing dog and child poses together." (Begin with the dog pose, lower to all fours and move into the child's pose, return to all fours and then the dog pose, back to all fours and the child's pose. Rest here.) Find your child's pulse for him and then ask, "Do you feel your heart beating faster? It's getting stronger!"

■Tree Pose (Vrksasana):
Balancing poses, like the tree, improve our ability to focus, pay attention, and concentrate for longer and longer periods of time.

Tell your child: "Imagine you are a tall tree with roots growing out the bottoms of your feet. Let's do the tree balance together. (Begin in a standing position with palms touching and thumbs resting on your heart). Shift your weight to your left leg and slowly raise your right foot to your ankle, shin, or inner thigh with your knee facing out. Slowly return your foot to the floor and repeat on the other side.) Ask your child, "Was one side easier than the other? Balancing poses take practice and you will get better and better!"

■Partner and Family Poses:
Doing poses together will help your child build relationship skills and will be loads of fun for both of you!

Tell your child: "Let's do the Mommy/Daddy dog and puppy poses. I will be the Mommy/Daddy dog and you be the puppy." (You assume the dog pose and instruct your child to crawl under you. Then have her do the dog pose and turn her head to the side to face yours. Then rub noses together.)

■Make Up Poses Together:
Yoga for kids should be creative. Encourage your child to make up new poses and name them. This is great for practicing language skills. Make the animal sounds. Use natural gestures, too. Hop like a bunny and slither like a snake.

■Relaxation Pose (Shavasana):
This special pose is done at the end of every yoga class, but can be done anytime of the day or night to help us relax.

Tell your child: "Let's do the relaxation pose together." (Lie on your backs,
palms at your sides facing up, legs fall off to the sides). "Close your eyes.
Focus on your breath moving in and out of your nose. Feel your belly rising and
falling." (To help your child relax in this pose, play soft music and dim the
lights. You might try an eye pillow to block out the light and a gentle foot or
hand massage with light cream.) Ask your child, "How do you feel?"

■Namaste:
After the relaxation pose, it is traditional to return to a sitting position, bring your palms together with thumbs touching your heart, and making eye contact and smiling with each other, saying the word, "Namaste," Namaste is a Sanskrit word that means, "the light in you sees the light in me" or more simply, "we are all special." This simple greeting teaches all of us about respect.

Courtesy of PBS Kids!

All About National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month!

Why A National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month?

In the past four decades, obesity rates in the United States have soared among all age groups. This rise in obesity rates has affected our youth in alarming fashion. Childhood obesity has increased more than fourfold among those ages 6 to 11. Over 23 million children and teenagers in the United States ages 2 to 19 are obese or overweight, a statistic that health and medical experts consider an epidemic. And this epidemic puts nearly one third of America’s children at early risk for Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and even stroke – conditions usually associated with adulthood. Even greater disparities exist among young Hispanics and children of color.

But there are opportunities every day to change these trends. And this September, Girls Rule! will take this extraordinary opportunity to work with youth, parents and child care workers to build awareness and take action – nationally, as well as in our respective states, cities, workplaces and most importantly, in our homes.


September 2010 is the first-ever Childhood Obesity Awareness Month

We are calling national attention and action to this epidemic. It is your opportunity to unite with leaders in the White House and Congress, with the Governor of your state and Mayor of your city, Girls Rule! and with all in your community who care about our youth and the health of our nation today and tomorrow. Here are some highlights:

►Congress has officially proclaimed September 2010 as National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month. Other national, state, and city leaders are called on to support and observe the month.

►Organizations around the United States will plan and carry out activities that build awareness about and encourage action on childhood obesity.

►And individuals – we hope you – will take steps within your family, on your block, in your community to help reverse the rise of childhood obesity. Every person in the U.S. can be an important part of Childhood Obesity Awareness Month by taking small steps that add up to a big difference: Eating more balanced meals and snacks, engaging in physical activity more regularly, and sharing your personal plan and commitment with family and friends of all ages.

Why This Website?

The Girls Rule! Blog has committed itself to provide information, Web links and tools to promote and celebrate September as National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month. Look forward to partnering together with you as we work together create a healthier future for our most important resource: our children.

Check back soon for more updates and please spread the word!

Ladon Brumfield
Executive Director
Girls Rule!
http://www.girlz-rule.org/
312-479-0789