The following PSA may not be suitable for minors. Please view and discern whether it is appropriate to share and discuss with licensed or soon to be licensed youth in your home.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
"Birthday Sex" Back to School Campaign
Girls Rule, Chicago
www.girlz-rule.org
About a month ago, Ron Huberman and Richard Daley announced that they selected Morgan Park High School alum, Jeremih Felton, singer of the popular song, "Birthday Sex" to be the face of their back to school campaign.
Many of the parents I spoke with were outraged and very concerned about the message this decision would send to students. Community organizations threatened "consequences" if this decision was not reversed. Those consequences would include encouraging students "not" to attend the first day of school to send a message that decisions like these, that negatively impact the community at large would not be tolerated.
What are your thoughts?
Here's the background information and a video. Let us know your thoughts...
_______________________________________________________________
Community leaders gathered at Chicago Public Schools headquarters today to denounce the choice to head up a back-to-school campaign: A singer with the hit song "Birthday Sex."
"This is not the appropriate forum for the boosting of him and the endorsing of him because when Chicago Public Schools administrators. . .are seen as endorsing this type of behavior amongst the children, we have a problem," said William Dock Walls of the Committee for a Better Chicago and a candidate for governor. "We're starting down that slippery slope to increased STDs, increased HIV, increased pregnancies and abortions."
The small group's comments came two days after CPS chief Ron Huberman and Mayor Richard Daley announced the selection of Jeremih Felton, a Morgan Park High School alum, to be the face of the campaign.
Though Jeremih's song is popular on airwaves and some students may have been aware of it prior to the campaign, the fact that CPS "then adopts him," Walls said, "augment[s]" his exposure to others. If CPS doesn't reverse the decision, there will be "consequences," he said.
"Some of the consequences: that we will have protests. . .at CPS and that we will discourage attendance on the first day of school to send a real strong protest message that this will not be tolerated in our community," Walls said.
When pressed about discouraging school attendance over a song, Walls said, it's "over a concept."
"If children go to school with birthday sex on their mind, they can't learn anything," he said. "Can you imagine a 6-year-old saying to another 6-year-old, 'It's my birthday, come and have birthday sex with me? And it's OK because the teachers told us and the principals told us and the administrators told us to listen to Jeremih. He's our role model.'"
On Tuesday, Daley brushed away questions about the appropriateness of the song, saying the artist has a right to "free speech."
"He's a young man, [with a] back-to-school message, a young man who has had great success recording, producer, going to school, went to public school," Daley said. "Graduated from Morgan Park, and like anything else, he's willing to help other youngsters in our public school system."
But Gilda Walker, a member of both the Committe for a Better Chicago and Concerned Women, said the message promotes teen sex.
"I don't think that should be the message sent to our children going back to school," she said. "If CPS is so concerned about music, why don't they put the arts back into the school so the children can learn the different genres of music and be able to appreciate why and how music is constructed?" she said.
Delilah Johnson, 22, a junior at DePaul University and 2005 alum of Percy L. Julian High School, said the selection of a celebrity for the back to school campaign did impact her and others.
"It set the tone for the year. It set the tone for what the teachers expected of you," she said. "And if the teachers don't expect anything better than what Jeremih is singing about in these lyrics, that's an insult to us."
-- Lauren R. Harrison
www.girlz-rule.org
Girls Rule
"It is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men."
- Frederick Douglass
www.girlz-rule.org
About a month ago, Ron Huberman and Richard Daley announced that they selected Morgan Park High School alum, Jeremih Felton, singer of the popular song, "Birthday Sex" to be the face of their back to school campaign.
Many of the parents I spoke with were outraged and very concerned about the message this decision would send to students. Community organizations threatened "consequences" if this decision was not reversed. Those consequences would include encouraging students "not" to attend the first day of school to send a message that decisions like these, that negatively impact the community at large would not be tolerated.
What are your thoughts?
- Was the decision to align the back to school campaign with this "celebrity" damaging?
- What message do you think it sends to youth?
- Is this type of protest the right path to take?
- Has the campaign been successful?
Here's the background information and a video. Let us know your thoughts...
_______________________________________________________________
Community leaders gathered at Chicago Public Schools headquarters today to denounce the choice to head up a back-to-school campaign: A singer with the hit song "Birthday Sex."
"This is not the appropriate forum for the boosting of him and the endorsing of him because when Chicago Public Schools administrators. . .are seen as endorsing this type of behavior amongst the children, we have a problem," said William Dock Walls of the Committee for a Better Chicago and a candidate for governor. "We're starting down that slippery slope to increased STDs, increased HIV, increased pregnancies and abortions."
The small group's comments came two days after CPS chief Ron Huberman and Mayor Richard Daley announced the selection of Jeremih Felton, a Morgan Park High School alum, to be the face of the campaign.
Though Jeremih's song is popular on airwaves and some students may have been aware of it prior to the campaign, the fact that CPS "then adopts him," Walls said, "augment[s]" his exposure to others. If CPS doesn't reverse the decision, there will be "consequences," he said.
"Some of the consequences: that we will have protests. . .at CPS and that we will discourage attendance on the first day of school to send a real strong protest message that this will not be tolerated in our community," Walls said.
When pressed about discouraging school attendance over a song, Walls said, it's "over a concept."
"If children go to school with birthday sex on their mind, they can't learn anything," he said. "Can you imagine a 6-year-old saying to another 6-year-old, 'It's my birthday, come and have birthday sex with me? And it's OK because the teachers told us and the principals told us and the administrators told us to listen to Jeremih. He's our role model.'"
On Tuesday, Daley brushed away questions about the appropriateness of the song, saying the artist has a right to "free speech."
"He's a young man, [with a] back-to-school message, a young man who has had great success recording, producer, going to school, went to public school," Daley said. "Graduated from Morgan Park, and like anything else, he's willing to help other youngsters in our public school system."
But Gilda Walker, a member of both the Committe for a Better Chicago and Concerned Women, said the message promotes teen sex.
"I don't think that should be the message sent to our children going back to school," she said. "If CPS is so concerned about music, why don't they put the arts back into the school so the children can learn the different genres of music and be able to appreciate why and how music is constructed?" she said.
Delilah Johnson, 22, a junior at DePaul University and 2005 alum of Percy L. Julian High School, said the selection of a celebrity for the back to school campaign did impact her and others.
"It set the tone for the year. It set the tone for what the teachers expected of you," she said. "And if the teachers don't expect anything better than what Jeremih is singing about in these lyrics, that's an insult to us."
-- Lauren R. Harrison
www.girlz-rule.org
Girls Rule
"It is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men."
- Frederick Douglass
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Girls Rule! Parent ToolKit: Talking to Youth About SEXting.
Girls Rule! Parent ToolKit: Talking to Youth About “Sexting.”
By Ladon Thames Brumfield, Executive Director
http://www.girlz-rule.org/
UPDATE: AmplifyYourVoice.org, a global organization dedicated to empowering and educating youth to facilitate change within their communities presented this article to peer youth educators globally, to utilize as a tool when educating youth and their families about SEXting.
Multi media technology is wonderful. It helps us to stay connected to family and friends and helps us to communicate from just about any part of the world with flexibility and ease. It has also, however given birth to yet another area for parents to vigilantly safeguard their children against: “Sexting.”
What is “Sexting?” I’m glad you asked. “Sexting” refers to the sharing of sexually oriented material via cell phone such as distribution of nude pictures, sexually suggestive typed responses to text messages and everything in between.
Recently, I received an email from the father of a very bright and outgoing 7th grade young lady who discovered that his daughter had recently received suggestive messages from a boy she liked at school. Fighting back his initial impulse, which was to “blow up” and kick start his own Law and Order :SVU, Elliot Stabler style high pressure suspect interview session, he asked me the best way help his daughter deal with this type of peer pressure to better equip her to make good decisions regarding the perils of one-click technology.
This father is not alone. The reality is that “sexting” amongst youth is a quickly rising trend. A 2008 survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy found that 39 percent of teens have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages and 48 percent say they have received such messages. If your child has not encountered such materials now, it is likely that they will in the future.
Parents, What Can You Do?
Answer: EDUCATE
Talk About It: Talk with your child about “sexting” in a relaxed setting. Ask them what they know about it (they may not have heard the term, so "naked photo-sharing" works too), or what they think about it. Reference recent Miley Cirus, Vanessa Hudges or Rihanna photo sharing faux pas. While teens may view ''sexting'' as an innocent practice, the results can have lasting negative effects. Reputations, social lives, and future careers can be ruined as a result of nude pictures going public. Try walking them through the consequences of such images or text messages being shared with school peers and others by focusing on how they would feel if the content were shared, how others would view them and their character, what might be said behind their backs, etc. Also, encourage them not to share messages forwarded to them about others. Express how you feel in a conversational, supportive, non-confrontational way. A two-way dialog can go a long way toward building healthy communication between you and your child and helping them to understand how to minimize legal, social and reputation risks.
Many Causes: Recognize that there are many causes for “sexting.” In some cases, kids are responding to peer pressure or pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Help them to think through what may happen to the content in the event of a break up. “Sexting” is also sometimes simply impulsive behavior, flirting, or even revenge. Help your child to understand that whether a message is about them or someone else, it's always a bad idea.
It's Illegal: Encourage them not to take or send nude or sexually suggestive photos of themselves or anyone else. Help them to understand that if they do, even if the pictures are of themselves or if they pass along someone else's - they could be charged with producing or distributing child pornography. If they keep them on their phone or computer they could be charged with possession. If the photos or messages go to someone in another state (and that happens really easily), it's a federal felony.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of discussing the emotional (and reputation) damage that can come from having intimate photos (or messages) of your child go to a friend who can become an ex-friend and sent it to everyone your child knows. Not only can they be sent around; they can be distributed and archived online for people – including sexual deviants, to search for pretty much forever.
I hope these tips will help you to kick start a wonderfully productive, engaging and educational discussion with the special young person in your life.
Was this article helpful? Post a comment to let us know!
By Ladon Thames Brumfield, Executive Director
http://www.girlz-rule.org/
UPDATE: AmplifyYourVoice.org, a global organization dedicated to empowering and educating youth to facilitate change within their communities presented this article to peer youth educators globally, to utilize as a tool when educating youth and their families about SEXting.
Multi media technology is wonderful. It helps us to stay connected to family and friends and helps us to communicate from just about any part of the world with flexibility and ease. It has also, however given birth to yet another area for parents to vigilantly safeguard their children against: “Sexting.”
What is “Sexting?” I’m glad you asked. “Sexting” refers to the sharing of sexually oriented material via cell phone such as distribution of nude pictures, sexually suggestive typed responses to text messages and everything in between.
Recently, I received an email from the father of a very bright and outgoing 7th grade young lady who discovered that his daughter had recently received suggestive messages from a boy she liked at school. Fighting back his initial impulse, which was to “blow up” and kick start his own Law and Order :SVU, Elliot Stabler style high pressure suspect interview session, he asked me the best way help his daughter deal with this type of peer pressure to better equip her to make good decisions regarding the perils of one-click technology.
This father is not alone. The reality is that “sexting” amongst youth is a quickly rising trend. A 2008 survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy found that 39 percent of teens have sent or posted sexually suggestive messages and 48 percent say they have received such messages. If your child has not encountered such materials now, it is likely that they will in the future.
Parents, What Can You Do?
Answer: EDUCATE
Talk About It: Talk with your child about “sexting” in a relaxed setting. Ask them what they know about it (they may not have heard the term, so "naked photo-sharing" works too), or what they think about it. Reference recent Miley Cirus, Vanessa Hudges or Rihanna photo sharing faux pas. While teens may view ''sexting'' as an innocent practice, the results can have lasting negative effects. Reputations, social lives, and future careers can be ruined as a result of nude pictures going public. Try walking them through the consequences of such images or text messages being shared with school peers and others by focusing on how they would feel if the content were shared, how others would view them and their character, what might be said behind their backs, etc. Also, encourage them not to share messages forwarded to them about others. Express how you feel in a conversational, supportive, non-confrontational way. A two-way dialog can go a long way toward building healthy communication between you and your child and helping them to understand how to minimize legal, social and reputation risks.
Many Causes: Recognize that there are many causes for “sexting.” In some cases, kids are responding to peer pressure or pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Help them to think through what may happen to the content in the event of a break up. “Sexting” is also sometimes simply impulsive behavior, flirting, or even revenge. Help your child to understand that whether a message is about them or someone else, it's always a bad idea.
It's Illegal: Encourage them not to take or send nude or sexually suggestive photos of themselves or anyone else. Help them to understand that if they do, even if the pictures are of themselves or if they pass along someone else's - they could be charged with producing or distributing child pornography. If they keep them on their phone or computer they could be charged with possession. If the photos or messages go to someone in another state (and that happens really easily), it's a federal felony.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of discussing the emotional (and reputation) damage that can come from having intimate photos (or messages) of your child go to a friend who can become an ex-friend and sent it to everyone your child knows. Not only can they be sent around; they can be distributed and archived online for people – including sexual deviants, to search for pretty much forever.
I hope these tips will help you to kick start a wonderfully productive, engaging and educational discussion with the special young person in your life.
Was this article helpful? Post a comment to let us know!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
What We Are Dying To Know!
Recognizing the growing rate of HIV infection occurring amongst 13-24 year olds and the need to educate, inform and equip young persons to make healthy decisions, three years ago Girls Rule! began to provide annual HIV awareness and prevention workshops to youth at our Chicago south-side location.
Our youth sessions were really engaging, fun and the young ladies and gentlemen (ages 7 - 18) had A LOT to say in their age appropriate sessions! One of the things we discussed were the mixed messages that they previously received about body image, sex and HIV - or worse, they received no message at all.
Have you had conversations with the youth in your life about HIV? Do you feel comfortable discussing it? Do you think that parent workshops about talking to youth about HIV would be helpful? What do you think?
Our youth sessions were really engaging, fun and the young ladies and gentlemen (ages 7 - 18) had A LOT to say in their age appropriate sessions! One of the things we discussed were the mixed messages that they previously received about body image, sex and HIV - or worse, they received no message at all.
Have you had conversations with the youth in your life about HIV? Do you feel comfortable discussing it? Do you think that parent workshops about talking to youth about HIV would be helpful? What do you think?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Girls Rule! News: 23 African American Young Ladies Enhance their Lives and Share An Elegant Dining Experience
Girls Rule! Equips Young Ladies with Tools for Success!Etiquette Imperative Program enriches the lives of twenty-three young ladies! By Ladon Brumfield
On January 31, 2009 twenty-three young ladies, including three scholarship participants from Powell Elementary School (Chicago Public Schools) located in the South Shore community began participation in the Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Program winter session which was hosted by Martin Temple AME Zion Church.
Over a five week period of time, each young lady received etiquette coaching in the areas of visual poise, personal grooming and style, communication and social etiquette and table manners through fun interactive exercises in order that the newly learned information may become a replicable life skill.
Take a sneak peek at the classes!
Having successfully completed The Etiquette Imperative Program, all graduates shared an elegant dining experience at American Girl Place in Chicago's Water Tower.
Event Info
Visit our photo album
Email info@girlz-rule.org to learn about future sessions or to bring this program to your school.
What young ladies have to say about the program:
I loved the class today. I feel very special and learned how to walk with my head held high!
I liked talking with the girls in my group about the type of women we want to become when we are adults. That was fun.
I liked the skit about appropriate outfits and inappropriate outfits.
No one ever taught me how to walk like that before or
Visit our photo album
Email info@girlz-rule.org to learn about future sessions or to bring this program to your school.
What young ladies have to say about the program:
I loved the class today. I feel very special and learned how to walk with my head held high!
I liked talking with the girls in my group about the type of women we want to become when we are adults. That was fun.
I liked the skit about appropriate outfits and inappropriate outfits.
No one ever taught me how to walk like that before or
even explained what my walk says about me. Cool!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Workshop - For Parents By Ladon Brumfield
The Etiquette Imperative Workshop
FOR PARENTS
Girls Rule! recognizes that home is a place of learning and that parents have a vital role in helping their children to master social graces and etiquette skills.
On Saturday, March 7, 2009, Girls Rule! will provide a free workshop to parents of past and present Etiquette Imperative students that will teach them etiquette and social grace training reinforcement strategies and methods to employ at home with their daughters.
Research shows that parental reinforcement of newly learned information is crucial in fostering a life-long love of learning in their children. The Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Workshop will give parents useful and effective tools, strategies and activities which will strengthen learning for the whole family.
FOR PARENTS
Girls Rule! recognizes that home is a place of learning and that parents have a vital role in helping their children to master social graces and etiquette skills.
On Saturday, March 7, 2009, Girls Rule! will provide a free workshop to parents of past and present Etiquette Imperative students that will teach them etiquette and social grace training reinforcement strategies and methods to employ at home with their daughters.
Research shows that parental reinforcement of newly learned information is crucial in fostering a life-long love of learning in their children. The Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Workshop will give parents useful and effective tools, strategies and activities which will strengthen learning for the whole family.
Classes will be conducted on Saturday, March 7, 2009 at 12:30pm in classroom #1 at :
Martin Temple AME Zion Church,
Martin Temple AME Zion Church,
6930 South Cottage Grove Avenue, Chicago, IL.
Registration fee: Free
This class is now full.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
North Lawndale Employment Network CEO Teaches Communication and Social Etiquette Class
The Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Program recognizes that communication skills mastery builds self-esteem and leadership ability. On Saturday, February 7, 2009, Brenda Palms Barber, CEO of NLEN and President of Sweet Beginnings, LLC facilitated a Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative Program session entitled: Communication and Social Etiquette.
Mrs. Barber's innovative and dynamic classroom session provided an opportunity for 17 African American young ladies, ages 7 - 14 to enhance their knowledge of communication and social etiquette through fun and interactive exercises in order that the newly learned information becomes a replicable life skill.
Mrs. Barber has been a long time supporter of the Girls Rule! Etiquette Imperative and has provided social and communication training through this program for the past 2 years.
Event Info
This five week course is full.
Jan. 31 - Feb. 31, 200912:30PM-2:30PM
Email info@girlz-rule.org to learn about future sessions.
This five week course is full.
Jan. 31 - Feb. 31, 200912:30PM-2:30PM
Email info@girlz-rule.org to learn about future sessions.
By Ladon Brumfield
Executive Director
Girls Rule!
Girls Rule! Benefits Of Music Education For Your Child by Ladon Brumfield Executive Director
Also included in this article:
2009 Summer Music Programs for Youth
Over the years, documented studies have confirmed the benefits of music education on new borns and children.Studies of Music Learning Benefits
Music education benefits include everything from changing a students' mood to helping them solve math problems. In general, it helps a student become successful in the school environment.
Music has immediate effects on brain activity which scientists are still studying today.
For example, a study was done that involved second graders and math. In this study, the school kids were divided into two groups. One group used newly-designed math software to augment their mathematical skills.
The other group also used this software but in addition the kids in this group received piano keyboard training. What are the results?
Both groups were tested and the second group of students scored twenty-seven percent higher on the math exam than the first group, which seem to show the positive effects of combining music teaching into other studies.
Other Studies Demonstrate The Positive Effects Of Music
Numerous studies have shown that learning and exposure to music results in improved communication between students. Fights and arguments are reduced. Also students who play in school bands are less likely to use tobacco and alcohol.
Benefits of music education also include enhancing interpersonal communication skills. This result has also been proven by some of the many studies done throughout the years.
A student who is having difficulty concentrating may find it easier when music classes has been added to the curriculum. Playing music helps a student become more self-disciplined and able to control their behavior better, because it provides an acceptable form of self expression.
If students learn to study music successfully they can use the same method to help them study in other classes. They will find it easier to understand instructions. Added benefits of music education include increasing a child's creativity and helping him or her learn to cooperate with other students. Their social interaction skills improve after playing music together in a group.
In newborns, exposure to music is proven to help develop intelligence. Exposure to classical music helps develop reasoning and language skills in children when begun at an early age. In older children, music education helps them extend their knowledge of the world around them. Music education give children an avenue to contribute to society, which in turn helps them in life. They are more likely to become well-rounded individuals.
Conclusion
Today, no school education curriculum can be considered complete with giving students the opportunity to learn music.
Girls Rule! families,
Below, I have listed some great music camps for students to take advantage of over the summer to enrich their musical experiences. I have listed them in order of cost. For more information or to download an application check out their websites.
District 97 Music Camp
Check the School Daze Summer School Packet http://www.op97.org/
University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, WI
Percussion Camp: August 2nd-7th
Cost: $415 includes room & board
Website: http://camps.uww.edu/
Eastern Illinois University – Charleston
Junior Band Camp: July 12th-18th
Cost: $425Jazz
Camp: July 19th-25th Cost: $440
Website: www.eiu.edu/music
ISU Junior Band Camp – Bloomington/Normal
July 12th – 18th
Cost: $450 includes room & board
Website: www.bands.ilstu.edu/events/junior-high-camp.shtml
NIU Jazz Camp – Dekalb (8th graders or older that have graduated)
July 19th-24th
Cost: $445-$505 includes room & board
Website: www.niu.edu/extprograms/Summer/JazzCamp.shtml
Illinois State Youth Music Camp (ISYM) – University of Illinois – Champaign/Urbana
Jr. Band Camp: June 21st-27th Cost: $595
Jazz Camp: July 5th-11th includes room & board
Website: www.music.uiuc.edu/ISYM
Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp – Twin Lakes, MI (2 Weeks)
Session 1: July 1st-12th
Session 2: July 15th – July 26th
Session 3: July 29th-August 9th
Session 4: August 12th-23rdCost: $1,025 (base price) includes room & board
Website: http://www.bluelake.org/
Interlochen Camp- Interlochen, MI (3 Weeks)Jr. Division Band
Session 1: June 21st – July 4th
Session 2: July 5th – July 18th
Session 3: July 19th – August 3rd
Cost: $4,185 includes room & board
Website: www.interlochen.org/camp
Ladon Brumfield
Executive Director
http://www.girlz-rule.org/
Girls Rule!
The Etiquette Imperative
Purse-o-nality! Financial Acumen
Monday, January 26, 2009
Girls Rule! News: Florida A & M Grant Opportunity for African American Young Ladies
CIS Program Seeks to Resolve the Digital Divide Between African-American Women with New Grant
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. – The Florida A&M University (FAMU) Computer Information Sciences (CIS) Program, housed in the College of Arts and Sciences, is the recipient of a National Science Foundation (NSF) grant valued at $552,000 dedicated to recruiting minority women to computer science and information technology disciplines.
“The numbers are staggering,” said Jason T. Black, Ph. D., assistant professor in CIS. “The latest data shows that out of all U.S. entering freshmen declaring a major in computer science, African-American women made up only 3.3 percent. The fact is that women are not choosing technology, and this is a dangerous predicament. When you couple that with the fact that it is estimated that 75 percent of all jobs by the year 2020 will require a technology background, it becomes a crisis call.”
The program, entitled African-American Women in Computer Science, (AAWCS), is a four-year program that provides scholarships and other assistance to women who express a financial need and an interest in computer science or information technology.
The AAWCS program begins operation on July 1 and will run until June 30, 2012. Applications for the program can be requested by contacting Black at jblack@cis.famu.edu or (850) 412-7354.
http://www.famu.edu/?a=headlines&p=display&news=602
Submitted by:
Ladon Brumfield
Executive Director
Girls Rule!
www.girlz-rule.org
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. – The Florida A&M University (FAMU) Computer Information Sciences (CIS) Program, housed in the College of Arts and Sciences, is the recipient of a National Science Foundation (NSF) grant valued at $552,000 dedicated to recruiting minority women to computer science and information technology disciplines.
“The numbers are staggering,” said Jason T. Black, Ph. D., assistant professor in CIS. “The latest data shows that out of all U.S. entering freshmen declaring a major in computer science, African-American women made up only 3.3 percent. The fact is that women are not choosing technology, and this is a dangerous predicament. When you couple that with the fact that it is estimated that 75 percent of all jobs by the year 2020 will require a technology background, it becomes a crisis call.”
The program, entitled African-American Women in Computer Science, (AAWCS), is a four-year program that provides scholarships and other assistance to women who express a financial need and an interest in computer science or information technology.
The AAWCS program begins operation on July 1 and will run until June 30, 2012. Applications for the program can be requested by contacting Black at jblack@cis.famu.edu or (850) 412-7354.
http://www.famu.edu/?a=headlines&p=display&news=602
Submitted by:
Ladon Brumfield
Executive Director
Girls Rule!
www.girlz-rule.org
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Girls Rule! Parent Workshop News: 10 Tips to Talking to T'weens and Teens about Sex and Relationships
Submitted by:
Ladon Brumfield
Executive Director
Girls Rule!
http://www.girlz-rule.org/
Most parents want to do their best in talking with their kids about sex and sexuality, but we're often not sure how to begin. Here's some advice:
Explore your own attitudes
Studies show that kids who feel they can talk with their parents about sex -- because their moms and dads speak openly and listen carefully to them -- are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior as teens than kids who do not feel they can talk with their parents about the subject. So explore your feelings about sex. If you are very uncomfortable with the subject, read some books and discuss your feelings with a trusted friend, relative, physician, or clergy member. The more you examine the subject, the more confident you'll feel discussing it.
Even if you can't quite overcome your discomfort, don't worry about admitting it to your kids. It's okay to say something like, "You know, I'm uncomfortable talking about sex because my parents never talked with me about it. But I want us to be able to talk about anything -- including sex -- so please come to me if you have any questions. And if I don't know the answer, I'll find out."
Start early
Teaching your children about sex demands a gentle, continuous flow of information that should begin as early as possible -- for instance, when teaching your toddler where his nose and toes are, include "this is your penis" or "this is your vagina" in your talks. As your child grows, you can continue her education by adding more materials gradually until she understands the subject well.
Take the initiative
If your child hasn't started asking questions about sex, look for a good opportunity to bring it up. Say, for instance, the mother of an 8-year-old's best friend is pregnant. You can say, "Did you notice that David's mommy's tummy is getting bigger? That's because she's going to have a baby and she's carrying it inside her. Do you know how the baby got inside her?" then let the conversation move from there.
Talk about more than the "Birds and the Bees"
While our children need to know the biological facts about sex, they also need to understand that sexual relationships involve caring, concern and responsibility. By discussing the emotional aspect of a sexual relationship with your child, she will be better informed to make decisions later on and to resist peer pressure. If your child is a pre-teen, you need to include some message about the responsibilities and consequences of sexual activity. Conversations with 11 and 12-year-olds, for example, should include talks about unwanted pregnancy and how they can protect themselves.
One aspect that many parents overlook when discussing sex with their child is dating. As opposed to movies, where two people meet and later end up in bed together, in real life there is time to get to know each other -- time to hold hands, go bowling, see a movie, or just talk. Children need to know that this is an important part of a caring relationship.
Give accurate, age-appropriate information
Talk about sex in a way that fits the age and stage of your child. If your 8-year-old asks why boys and girls change so much physically as they grow, you can say something like, "The body has special chemicals called hormones that tell it whether to become a boy or a girl. A boy has a penis and testicles, and when he grows older his voice gets lower and he gets more hair on his body. A girl has a vulva and vagina, and when she gets older she grows breasts and her hips grow rounder."
Anticipate the next stage of development
Children can get frightened and confused by the sudden changes their bodies begin to go through as they reach puberty. To help stop any anxiety, talk with your kids not only about their current stage of development but about the next stage, too. An 8-year-old girl is old enough to learn about menstruation, just as a boy that age is ready to learn how his body will change.
Communicate your values
It's our responsibility to let our children know our values about sex. Although they may not adopt these values as they mature, at least they'll be aware of them as they struggle to figure out how they feel and want to behave.
Talk with your child of the opposite sex
Some parents feel uncomfortable talking with their child about topics like sex if the youngster is of the opposite gender. While that's certainly understandable, don't let it become an excuse to close off conversation. If you're a single mother of a son, for example, you can turn to books to help guide you or ask your doctor for some advice on how to bring up the topic with your child. You could also recruit an uncle or other close male friend or relative to discuss the subject with your child, provided there is already good, open communication between them. If there are two parents in the household, it might feel less awkward to have the dad talk with the boy and the mom with the girl. That's not a hard and fast rule, though. If you're comfortable talking with either sons or daughters, go right ahead. Just make sure that gender differences don't make subjects like sex taboo.
Relax
Don't worry about knowing all the answers to your children's questions; what you know is a lot less important than how you respond. If you can convey the message that no subject, including sex, is forbidden in your home, you'll be doing just fine.
Parent Feedback/Tip:
Have a Mock Discussion with a Friend or Family Member First
If the idea of this discussion really makes your palms sweat, many parents have found that taking a trial run with a friend or family member helped to ease the anxiety that they felt. Think about what you'd like to accomplish in your first discussion and try it out with a friend or family member. Ask your friend or family member to anticipate a question or two that may be asked of you during your discussion.
Infuse Your Spiritual Beliefs into the Discussion
Last year Girls Rule! co-sponsored an HIV awareness campaign where we developed sex and relationship sessions specifically geared toward girls and Tween's. We developed age appropriate sessions that encouraged girls to not only view their bodies as Temples, but also developed sessions for Tween's and Teens that allowed them to think through their approach to relationships and sexual behavior from a spiritual perspective. We also assisted them in developing their own strategies to navigate out of a variety of potentially
sexual interactions with suitors/boyfriends. Try to infuse one of these strategies into your discussion to make the conversation more interactive and to equip your child with the skills that may be called upon in real life situations.
Sample Questions & Answers
Q. What's safe sex?
A. If two people have sexual intercourse, and one of them has HIV or another sexually transmitted disease, he could give it to his partner(s). Doctors believe that if the man wears a latex condom whenever he has intercourse, it helps to protect him and his partner from giving each other HIV. That's why people call sexual intercourse with a latex condom "safe sex."
Q. Is it true that you can't get pregnant the first time that you have sex?
A. No. You can get pregnant anytime you have sexual intercourse. Wearing a latex condom, taking birth control pills, or using other contraceptives are very effective at preventing pregnancy. However, the only absolute way to not get pregnant is to not have sex at all.
Tip:
You might also use this question as an opportunity to point out that not having sexual intercourse is a good idea for teens. Help them understand that there are other ways to show affection.
Interested in more resources? Visit us on the web at:
http://www.girlz-rule.org/
Ladon Brumfield
Executive Director
Girls Rule!
http://www.girlz-rule.org/
Most parents want to do their best in talking with their kids about sex and sexuality, but we're often not sure how to begin. Here's some advice:
Explore your own attitudes
Studies show that kids who feel they can talk with their parents about sex -- because their moms and dads speak openly and listen carefully to them -- are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior as teens than kids who do not feel they can talk with their parents about the subject. So explore your feelings about sex. If you are very uncomfortable with the subject, read some books and discuss your feelings with a trusted friend, relative, physician, or clergy member. The more you examine the subject, the more confident you'll feel discussing it.
Even if you can't quite overcome your discomfort, don't worry about admitting it to your kids. It's okay to say something like, "You know, I'm uncomfortable talking about sex because my parents never talked with me about it. But I want us to be able to talk about anything -- including sex -- so please come to me if you have any questions. And if I don't know the answer, I'll find out."
Start early
Teaching your children about sex demands a gentle, continuous flow of information that should begin as early as possible -- for instance, when teaching your toddler where his nose and toes are, include "this is your penis" or "this is your vagina" in your talks. As your child grows, you can continue her education by adding more materials gradually until she understands the subject well.
Take the initiative
If your child hasn't started asking questions about sex, look for a good opportunity to bring it up. Say, for instance, the mother of an 8-year-old's best friend is pregnant. You can say, "Did you notice that David's mommy's tummy is getting bigger? That's because she's going to have a baby and she's carrying it inside her. Do you know how the baby got inside her?" then let the conversation move from there.
Talk about more than the "Birds and the Bees"
While our children need to know the biological facts about sex, they also need to understand that sexual relationships involve caring, concern and responsibility. By discussing the emotional aspect of a sexual relationship with your child, she will be better informed to make decisions later on and to resist peer pressure. If your child is a pre-teen, you need to include some message about the responsibilities and consequences of sexual activity. Conversations with 11 and 12-year-olds, for example, should include talks about unwanted pregnancy and how they can protect themselves.
One aspect that many parents overlook when discussing sex with their child is dating. As opposed to movies, where two people meet and later end up in bed together, in real life there is time to get to know each other -- time to hold hands, go bowling, see a movie, or just talk. Children need to know that this is an important part of a caring relationship.
Give accurate, age-appropriate information
Talk about sex in a way that fits the age and stage of your child. If your 8-year-old asks why boys and girls change so much physically as they grow, you can say something like, "The body has special chemicals called hormones that tell it whether to become a boy or a girl. A boy has a penis and testicles, and when he grows older his voice gets lower and he gets more hair on his body. A girl has a vulva and vagina, and when she gets older she grows breasts and her hips grow rounder."
Anticipate the next stage of development
Children can get frightened and confused by the sudden changes their bodies begin to go through as they reach puberty. To help stop any anxiety, talk with your kids not only about their current stage of development but about the next stage, too. An 8-year-old girl is old enough to learn about menstruation, just as a boy that age is ready to learn how his body will change.
Communicate your values
It's our responsibility to let our children know our values about sex. Although they may not adopt these values as they mature, at least they'll be aware of them as they struggle to figure out how they feel and want to behave.
Talk with your child of the opposite sex
Some parents feel uncomfortable talking with their child about topics like sex if the youngster is of the opposite gender. While that's certainly understandable, don't let it become an excuse to close off conversation. If you're a single mother of a son, for example, you can turn to books to help guide you or ask your doctor for some advice on how to bring up the topic with your child. You could also recruit an uncle or other close male friend or relative to discuss the subject with your child, provided there is already good, open communication between them. If there are two parents in the household, it might feel less awkward to have the dad talk with the boy and the mom with the girl. That's not a hard and fast rule, though. If you're comfortable talking with either sons or daughters, go right ahead. Just make sure that gender differences don't make subjects like sex taboo.
Relax
Don't worry about knowing all the answers to your children's questions; what you know is a lot less important than how you respond. If you can convey the message that no subject, including sex, is forbidden in your home, you'll be doing just fine.
Parent Feedback/Tip:
Have a Mock Discussion with a Friend or Family Member First
If the idea of this discussion really makes your palms sweat, many parents have found that taking a trial run with a friend or family member helped to ease the anxiety that they felt. Think about what you'd like to accomplish in your first discussion and try it out with a friend or family member. Ask your friend or family member to anticipate a question or two that may be asked of you during your discussion.
Infuse Your Spiritual Beliefs into the Discussion
Last year Girls Rule! co-sponsored an HIV awareness campaign where we developed sex and relationship sessions specifically geared toward girls and Tween's. We developed age appropriate sessions that encouraged girls to not only view their bodies as Temples, but also developed sessions for Tween's and Teens that allowed them to think through their approach to relationships and sexual behavior from a spiritual perspective. We also assisted them in developing their own strategies to navigate out of a variety of potentially
sexual interactions with suitors/boyfriends. Try to infuse one of these strategies into your discussion to make the conversation more interactive and to equip your child with the skills that may be called upon in real life situations.
Sample Questions & Answers
Q. What's safe sex?
A. If two people have sexual intercourse, and one of them has HIV or another sexually transmitted disease, he could give it to his partner(s). Doctors believe that if the man wears a latex condom whenever he has intercourse, it helps to protect him and his partner from giving each other HIV. That's why people call sexual intercourse with a latex condom "safe sex."
Q. Is it true that you can't get pregnant the first time that you have sex?
A. No. You can get pregnant anytime you have sexual intercourse. Wearing a latex condom, taking birth control pills, or using other contraceptives are very effective at preventing pregnancy. However, the only absolute way to not get pregnant is to not have sex at all.
Tip:
You might also use this question as an opportunity to point out that not having sexual intercourse is a good idea for teens. Help them understand that there are other ways to show affection.
Interested in more resources? Visit us on the web at:
http://www.girlz-rule.org/
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