The Etiquette Imperative Parent ToolKit Series on Divorce and Separation: Separating with Respect and Honor

The frequency of divorce in modern society has not made the process any easier for those involved. The circumstances of separating and breaking off a marriage, however, still call for basic consideration, respect, and honesty.


The following etiquette issues frequently arise during a separation.


Telling others.

A separation is not publicly announced. A couple should explain the situation to family and close friends, and word will spread. If the couple reunites, there is no public announcement.


Names and rings.

The wife continues to use her husband's name (if she has taken it), and both spouses usually continue to wear their wedding rings.


Change of address.

If the separation is lengthy, the spouse who moves out of the home should give his or her new address and phone number to anyone who needs to know, such as an employer.


Social invitations.

The couple usually refuses any invitations addressed to "Mr. and Mrs." If they do attend the same social or business functions, they should behave as normally as possible and not draw others into their problems. Most adults make accommodations for separated couples by not inviting them both to the same social events. So don't get upset if mutual friends fail to include you in a party to which your spouse has been invited. Chances are, the friends are not choosing sides but are trying to avoid a difficult situation for everyone. Your time will probably come.