National Bar Assn Youth Law Camp - Apply today!

The National Bar Association is seeking applicants for the Crump Law Camp which was established for students entering the 9th through 11th grades and between the ages of 14 and 17 to introduce them to the judicial system. The goal of the NBA camp is to encourage young people at an early age to become lawyers and seek legal careers in the future.

By 2050 more than half of the people in this country will be of color. More than 90% of the nation’s lawyers are white, as are more than 80% of the students enrolled in law school. Yet more than 30% of the United States is comprised of people of color. The NBA is seeking applicants to attend this camp from every ethnic group and its selection process is non-discriminatory.

The first inaugural two week camp was held during the summer at Howard University School of Law through a grant by the Ford Motor Company Fund in 2001. Campers were and will be housed on the Howard University campus and live in a protected camp environment. Open enrollment is available to students across the country but emphasis will be on enabling students from low income families to attend.

Tuition for the camp will vary depending upon family income. The tuition covers transportation to and from Washington, D.C.; housing; meals; educational materials; and expenses for field trips. The camp provides students with an exciting academic and social agenda in the Washington, D. C. area. The competitive highlight of the camp is the Evett L. Simmons Mock Trial Competition. The four winners of this competition are invited to the NBA’s Annual Convention.

Camp begins July 11, 2010. Applications are available on the NBA website is www.Nationalbar.org and are to be mailed to the following address:

National Bar Association Crump Law Camp
P.O. Box 1048
Washington, D.C. 20008
(301) 249-8355
http://www.national bar.org/lawcamp/ index.shtml

What do you think? Should Schools Bribe Kids for Grades?

Should Schools Bribe Kids for Grades?

Ladon Brumfield
Founding Executive Director
Girls Rule!
www.girlz-rule.org
312-479-0789

Parent ToolKit: Dealing with Puberty - A Father's Personal Nightmare

Question: I am a single father (widowed) raising a beautiful 11 year old daughter who has - against my wishes, "hit" puberty. How do I help her to understand and to feel comfortable discussing the emotional and physical changes her body is going through, when I don't understand them myself?

Answer: Congratulations! You're about to deal with something that most dads spend a lot of time worrying about. Luckily, though, it really isn't all that bad.

First of, let's recognize that women's bodies have always been something of a mystery to most men and it's perfectly normal to be confused, embarrassed, or even somewhat put off by your daughter's physical changes or the idea of discussing them with her.

Now that you've acknowledged that this will be a learning experience for the both of you, do a little research so that you are prepared for her questions. To start with, you should learn a little about girls' puberty. That way if you ever need to talk to your daughter about it you'll sound a little more knowledgeable.

Somewhere between ages of 8 and 14 the process will start. Your daughter will start to develop breasts, she'll start growing hair on her genitals and under her arms, her skin may start breaking out, and eventually she'll start menstruating. The whole process usually takes from 18 months to as long as 7 or 8 years to complete. If your daughter seems to be starting puberty at the very early end of the age range or hasn't started by the end of the range, have a talk with her pediatrician.

Ask your daughter whether she has any questions about what's going on and let her know that she can ask you anytime she wants to talk. She'll probably be far too self-conscious to discuss those intimate details with "dad," but having made the offer will let her know that you care--and that's the most important thing. You should also consider obtaining some books on the subject -- some for her and some for you!

Consider introducing your daughter to a book like, "The Care & Keeping Of You: The Body Book For Girls" by American Girl - or other fun, engaging and informative guides that answer all of the questions growing girls have about their bodies—from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to bra buying, pimples to periods. These books are great to read together and provide a less stressful or akward opportunity to discuss the changes she may be experiencing.

If you sense that your daughter isn't getting the information she needs offer to put her in touch with an adult female friend or relative she might feel more comfortable talking to.

During this time of change recognize that it may be exciting, but also stressful to her. Your daughter may feel fat, embarrassed, and uncomfortable in her new body. She may be constantly comparing her rate of development to that of her girl friends and, if she's started early, she may have to deal with some increased attention from boys. If you sense that your daughter is stressed but isn't ready to talk with you about the changes she is experiencing, consider presenting her with a journal so that she may write about them. There are wonderful journaling books available for girls, such as; "The Care & Keeping Of You Journal" which is an interactive journal that allows girls to record their moods, track their periods, and keep in touch with their overall health and well-being. Tips, quizzes, and checklists help girls understand and express what’s happening to their bodies—and their feelings about it.


Just like when she was three, your daughter needs to know what she's going through is normal and that you, the most important male figure in her life, love her. Please remember that if you push her away because you'd rather not deal with this uncomfortable season, no matter how good your intentions, she's going to feel rejected and bad about herself.

Enjoy this journey together...ultimately she will love and appreciate you for it.

Have a question? Email it to use at Girlz@girlz-rule.org

Parent Toolkit: Differing Opinions, Rebellion and Loss of Parental Control Are Good Things?

Growing up means becoming one's own person. With that come differing opinions, rebellion, and loss of complete parental control. The humorous thing is that when daughters begin to exhibit this perfectly natural behavior, many of us cringe! Life was simpler when they didn't question our authority.

Preadolescence, a Preview of What's to Come
Somewhere between 10 and 11 years old, Sally develops the ability to see things from different points of view—hers included. More and more she will begin evaluating Mom's opinions and how they stack up with her own. This ability to begin to see things from different points and return to the original is called "reversibility thinking."

It may be comforting to keep in mind that much of that original opinion may be made up of the values and ideals little Sally has been raised to believe in before this new era of independent analysis.

Adolescence, Agony, and Ambivalence
The onset of puberty, adolescence, and moral independence is a particularly precarious time for daughters and an era of trauma for their mothers. Once this phase sprouts into full bloom an outgoing, productive Sally can turn into a frustrating, sulky, self-centered young teenager.

Matrophobia, or the fear of becoming like one's mother, is particularly prevalent in adolescence. In fact, it is so common in Western culture that many experts consider it normative behavior.

Building Blocks

Matrophobia is the fear of becoming like one's mother or emulating her basic characteristics. If the fear is particularly potent, a woman may estrange herself from her mother in order to establish her own identity.

The Adolescent Self
All of the sudden sociological (magazine and media ads) and biological (hormonal) forces are demanding that Sally focus on a physical presence that is attractive to the opposite sex. According to Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of A Woman's Book of Life, these forces are so powerful that a happy, well-adjusted young girl may become confused and ambivalent over who she was and who she is supposed to be. The pushes and pulls to strengthen "the power to be or the power to please" can, Borysenko claims, exacerbate the onset of depression.

The whole idea of "self versus others" makes the young woman in transition feel conflicted by family pressures, the influence of friends, and pride in her own independence. If she feels guilty for the pride and satisfaction she feels in her own independence, there is a risk she might forego her own attitudes, desires, and opinions in favor of the posture of peacekeeper. Borysenko warns that the role of peacekeeper is performed by connecting with others but excluding oneself. She says that society reinforces this because we grow up with the belief that a good woman is not selfish.

Women who grow up and deny their own identities to win favor of others miss out on the cornerstone of intimacy and mature love, a hearty dose of self-respect.

Woman to Woman

Did you know...

FACT: Approximately 95 percent of those who suffer bulimia or anorexia are females. Only 5 to 10 percent are males. A study by the American Association of University Women reported some disturbing findings that clearly show how self-image diminishes as girls grow. Sixty percent of elementary school girls in the study said they felt happy with themselves. This number fell to half of that, 30 percent, by high school. Sadly enough, 10 percent of American women are reported to starve, binge, or purge themselves. This number doubles to 20 percent during adolescence. And as if that weren't troubling enough, nearly 15 percent of anorexic women die.

During each Girls Rule! meeting, we incorporate health and well-being activities with regular discussions about our feelings and body image. Parents may impliment this activity at home too! Use grocery shopping, cooking and other opportunities to learn more about how your daughter feels about her body while sharing your own thoughts about your own. Staying connected on this issue will help you to gauge where she is emotionally and to balance negative body image feelings with positive ones!

Ladon Brumfield
Founding Executive Director
Girls Rule!
www.girlz-rule.org

When Girls Are Ashamed of Their Bodies

by Carleton Kendrick Ed.M., LCSW


Afraid of the Beach

During my recent Cape Cod vacation, I rarely saw any less than lithe teenage girls on the beach. For five days I saw teenage girls of different shapes and sizes at the movies, malls, and mini-golf -- but only the lean and the shapely showed up in bathing suits at the beach. We've taught our girls to be ashamed of their less-than-perfect bodies. We've made them afraid of the beach.

Women agonize over revealing their swim-suited flesh. They are not comfortable with their adult female bodies. In preparation for summer, they advise their daughters to lose weight, wax their bikini lines, and select bathing suits that hide their "figure flaws." Beach ball-stomached men with spindly legs offer their sons no such summer warnings. The beach is not the enemy of boys and men.

Ill at ease

The only females on the beach at ease with their bodies all seemed to be under nine years of age. Even preadolescent girls consciously sucked in their slightly rounded stomachs, embarrassed by even the slightest appearance of any body fat. Serape-draped women anxiously shared their weight-loss plans as they read magazines promising "a slimmer summer body" and "how to be sexy after 40."

Men joked with each other about their beer bellies and sometimes attempted to retract them as a comely bathing beauty passed by. Their beach talk focused on the Red Sox' pennant chances. They seemed relaxed and happy.

Death, fear, and loathing

Several years ago, a woman's magazine surveyed thousands of women regarding body image. One of the survey's questions was whether they would choose death five years before they were destined to die if they could live the remainder of their lives as thin women. An overwhelming majority responded yes.

Women pass on desperate, shame-based feelings about their bodies to their daughters. This legacy of endless self-loathing, aided and abetted by omnipresent media images of unattainable womanly beauty, has resulted in our daughters' hating their bodies, falling prey to chronic eating disorders and far too often starving and bingeing themselves to death.

Like mother, like daughter

In order for daughters to be comfortable with their bodies, mothers can not be at war with theirs. Mothers must refrain from constantly, bitterly complaining about their weight and shape and obsessing about fat grams. Food must not be the enemy. Girls need to be taught to celebrate their bodies' individual strengths and vitality, regardless of their dress size. The numbers on a scale or the breadth of their hips must not determine their self-esteem.

More swim-suited adolescent girls of all sizes will begin to brighten the beach when their mothers begin to accept and respect their own bodies, freeing themselves and their daughters from the fear of fat. All our daughters deserve a day at the beach.

Parent ToolKit: Building Positive Self Image

Question: How do I help my 12-year-old daughter increase her self-esteem when my own is not that great?

Answer: Even though life experiences have not enabled you to feel positive self-esteem, you still can help others to build a positive image:

1. Compliment your daughter on the decisions that she makes. When she has a problem, help her to search for ways to deal with the situation, rather than taking over the problem and telling her what she should do.

2. Help her analyze her poor decisions so she can identify her mistakes and chart better courses of action.

3. Encourage your daughter to take positive risks such as trying out for a sport, attending a club, or volunteering to work on a special project. By taking these risks, she can gain the attention from others who can support you in your efforts to make her feel significant.

4. Teens feel most confident when they know they can make a difference -- that they can help others. Seek opportunities for her to show what she can do and where she can earn compliments from others, not just from her friends or her parents.

It's never too late to begin to find out just how great we really are. Make a list of your own strengths and find ways to use them more. Others will notice and value your contributions. Soon you'll be on the road to building your own self-esteem.

Girls Rule! - Healthy Steps Toward Building Self Esteem

Girls Rule! Healthy Steps Toward Building Self Esteem:
For Parents & Youth Service Providers

#1 Creating A Bill of Rights for Kids (K-8th Grade)

One of the reasons children often fail to stick up for themselves is simply because they're not clear about what they are entitled to expect from other people. It is worth helping school-age children compose a personal bill of rights so they can achieve some sense of clarity about this issue. Children need to decide what they are entitled to, what standards to maintain, and where the line falls between acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

Respect is a key component of assertiveness, but truly assertive behavior is not just about encouraging respectful behavior from others; it's also about demonstrating respect in your dealings with them. One of the benefits of taking the time to think about a personal bill of rights is that it also gives children clear guidelines as to how they can conduct themselves in ways that respect other people's rights, too.

When your child has come up with five to ten principles that he is happy with, take the time to type or write them out neatly. Perhaps you can even frame the document and put it up somewhere he will see it every day. Encourage your child to approach this task in his own way, but if the bill is to function as a useful benchmark for assertive behavior, it should probably include some of the following principles:

I have a right:
To say what I think
To express my feelings and wishes
To be treated with respect
To live my life without being bullied or manipulated
To be myself
To stick up for my rights
To respect the rights of others
To use my talents and abilities
To choose how I respond to other people

Keep in mind that the process of becoming more assertive and finding the delicate point between confidence and aggression is one that children can take a while to perfect. Sometimes the situations they encounter on the playground can challenge even the most assertive individual. Be on hand to provide extra support and coaching when needed.

Cruel Intentions Pt 2: Taking the Bully By the Horns

Ugly Stupid Fat Flat-Chested Buck-toothed Smelly Poor 4Eyes Dumb Big-Lips

The news no parent wants to hear -- your daughter is behaving like a bully.

Bullying is defined as repeated exposure involving an imbalance of power-- from negative actions that are physical (hitting, kicking) or verbal (name-calling, threatening), to other behaviors such as obscene gestures or intentional exclusion.

The Buzz on Bullying:

• Bullies identified by age eight are six times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age 24 and five times more likely than non-bullies to end up with serious criminal records by the age of 30 (Maine Project Against Bullying);
  
• 60 percent of students characterized as bullies in grades 6-9 had at least one criminal conviction by age 24 (Banks, 2000);
  
• Bullying by girls is often more subtle and harder to detect than bullying by boys (NRCSS, 1999). Boys tend to use more physical aggression than girls do. Bullying by girls more often takes the form of teasing and social exclusion (Hoover & Oliver).
  
• Boys tend to bully both boys and girls, while girls are more likely to victimize other girls (Hoover & Oliver).
  
• Girls are more likely to bully in a group

Girls and all children for that matter bully for a variety of reasons. Some do it to feel powerful or in control. Others do it because they are bullied themselves. Some believe it will increase their status with peers. Often, children who bully have a difficult time empathizing with their victims.

It is perfectly natural for a parent to react defensively to news that their daughter is bullying others. No one wants to hear that their child is a bully. Yet, research shows that parental involvement is key to stopping the cycle.

When confronted with this news, it is important to emotionally neutralize the situation or discussion about your daughter’s behavior and so that you are in a position to process and actually hear what's being said. If you find yourself going into defense mode or feeling offended, try saying, "Instead of labeling my child, please tell me what happened." Make yourself really listen. Remember that this discussion is ultimately about the well-being of your daughter, regardless of how it’s being framed or how it may make you feel.

Even if your daughter is behaving aggressively or acting like a bully, remember that this behavior is probably coming from her feelings of vulnerability. You need to look for what is going on in her interactions with others and what is going on internally, causing her to behave that way.

In talking with your child, DO NOT BLAME. Do not get into a discussion about the "whys" of what happened. Your discussion should focus on several key points:

• Bullying is not acceptable in our family, the school or in society.
• If you are feeling frustrated, jealous, angry or aggressive, here are some things you can do.
• Help her to develop alternate strategies for dealing with her feelings.
• Remember to role-play, act out situations where she may become angry or frustrated and the new behaviors/strategies she will employ to deal with these feelings.
• Ask, how can I help you with this? Who could you go to in school if you see yourself getting into this type of situation again?
• Specify concretely the consequences if the aggression or bullying continue.
  
• You want to stop the behavior, understand your daughter's feelings, then teach and reward more appropriate behavior.

Other strategies that parents may employ if you suspect that your child is bullying include:

• Be a hands-on parent. Talk to your child and be ready to listen. Know who your child’s friends are. Monitor activities. Work with the school, and keep communication lines open. If they have a bullying prevention program, learn about it. One of the most important things that parents can do for their kids is to be involved.
• Decrease violence at home. Turn off violent TV and video games. But also, monitor your own behavior. What do you do when angry? What is it teaching your child?
• Teach positive behaviors. Reinforce kind, compassionate behavior. Teach empathy and provide opportunities for cooperation. Have your child care for a pet, and enroll your child in meaningful activities that cultivate talents and interests while fostering cooperation and friendship.
• Seek professional help, if needed. Sometimes a situation calls for more than parental intervention. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, bullying can be a sign of other serious antisocial or violent behavior, which can lead to future problems in school and with the law.

Bullies are made, not born. If left unchecked, bullying can lead to serious life-altering consequences. If your daughter has adopted bullying behaviors, you can help her turn things around and get back on a better track. So open those lines of communication. And don't forget to show some compassion along with that firm hand-- your child is watching.

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